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English Pronunciation

kanrose:

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.

[source]

well this made me realize how odd english is. thank you.

I need need need a kotatsu guys.

"One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to..."

"One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It's about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she'll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn't masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don't put anything in her butthole you wouldn't want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it's kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn't mean she has, so don't you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don't worry about gettin' yours, you're a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she's gettin' hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You've got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad."

- Big Poppa E., "How To Make Love" (via hasser)

Hahahahaha eight!!!!!

(via nicoffeine)

Kuragehime is seriously the best ever and needs a second season...

Kuragehime is seriously the best ever and needs a second season when the manga progresses.

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catsandgraffitis: wzkdpoundpuppy: catsandgraffitis: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ:...

catsandgraffitis:

wzkdpoundpuppy:

catsandgraffitis:

✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:* \(◕‿◕✿)/ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ it's giveaway time!!! ✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:* \(◕‿◕✿)/ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

To thanks my many followers of their unconditional support as well as to make art a bit more accessible, I make the decision to pull out a super sweet art prints, stickers and snail mail goods giveaway!

The winner will receive the followings:

4 high quality prints (8" X 11"):

- 'Cats against cat-calls' by Starchild Stela (the print is available for 20$ here (50% goes to animal rescue!))

- 'Feed my heart' by Lindsay Campbell*

-'Haywood' by Lindsay Campbell*

-'Mural' by Lindsay Campbell*

*I'm not sure if these prints are still available! If you want to buy want, contact her directly; this might be the last chance to get them! :)

Stickers:

-5 Handmade Starchild Stela Stickers

-2 printed Starchild Stela graffiti stickers ('Cats against cat-calls' and 'End rape culture')

-2 printed Charline Bataille stickers ('Call me baby again' and 'Feminisms against bullshit')

-A lot of cute commercial stickers including Hello Kitty, Carebears and a lots of cats! :)

Snail Mail stuff:

-A set of vintage letter papers and enveloppes

-A small set of Hello Kitty letter papers and enveloppes

-3 vintage Montreal postcards for you to subvert

-Cats and dogs valentines

& I will propably add more!

The winner gets everything!

The rules are simple:

-You need to follow me, CatsAndGraffitis

-You need to reblog this (as much as you want)

-You need to leave your ask box open

That's it! I will pick the winner randomly in two weeks, Friday June 7th, 2013!

Yayy! Let me know if you have any questions.

WIN ALL OF THIS MAGIC!

End tomorrow!!